2013 has been a really amazing year for me. It is so amazing that even the word ‘amazing’ sounds too puny and insufficient for such a blessed year. I think crazy good is a more fitting description. There isn’t any competition really between this year and the coming one. But since life, after all, is more about improvements and “unlocking” the next level of achievement, I had to think long and hard on how I can make 2014 even more spectacular.
The idea came to me in one of the posts shared by my friends. Even the way I came across this thought seems most apt considering how great the contributions are of my friends in making 2013 a smashing success. I cannot remember the exact words, but it talks about the things we pray for and the one who hears them all.
Basically, what I got from it was that I was actually asking for too little from Him. It was a bit of a head scratcher for me at first to tell you honestly. I have thought (and have been told) all along that He knows what is inside our hearts and minds even before we speak of it. Also, I am already of the opinion that compared to what others have, I am already blessed beyond what I have imagined. So to ask for more just seems awfully ungrateful, selfish even.
I have not been a very demanding person. Truly, I am not. You can ask my relatives, ninong and ninang, and my parents even^^. I think I am one of those who find pleasure in the little thing precisely because the things I need have already been provided for.
“Ask and you shall receive”
I hear this often in mass and in religion class. However, I never really thought much about it until now. Not that I do not believe these words. I just simply am not a fan of asking. Asking for more than what I already have makes me feel a bit ungrateful, which is something that I would not want to be.
You see, asking is not a very simple thing. This is not to say that I do not want things. I DO want and wish for certain things. I just don’t ask for many of them. To ask puts one in a vulnerable position because the feeling of satisfaction, happiness and contentment rely on receiving the thing you’ve asked for. At some point, because of this belief, I have grown a bit scared and weary about asking because of the possibility of getting hurt, rejected, or worse, disappointed. I am not just referring to the things I pray for but also of the little things I wish from the people around me. I guess most of the time, I am just too afraid to ask.
To ask requires courage, and faith to the one who hears our hearts desire.
This year, I am determined to be less afraid.
To ask and not just settle.
To make my wishes known to the world despite the possibility of failure and disappointments…and to be accepting and gracious if and when things does not come my way.
I will be more trusting and more open to the people who has been silently making my little wishes come true.
Most importantly, I will make an effort to strengthen my most important, and much neglected relationship. For a God as BIG and as powerful as Him, perhaps I was asking for so little. The greater things that was planned for me may just have been a prayer away. I am happy to be reminded that it was never just about my worthiness, rather it was a matter of Him loving me unconditionally.
I guess I’ve had it all wrong; all I had to do was ask.
2014 is just an hour away. Although I lost some very dear things (Daks most especially) this year, I am missing 2013 already; I will always look back at this year with much fondness.
Thank you 2013 and everyone who made it great.
2014, I am so ready for you 🙂