You’ve Got Junk: A Weekly Writing Challenge


I have read somewhere that the term “junk foods” is actually a misnomer since even the most unhealthiest food still contains a nutrient with varying degree of benefits to our health.  Foods we consider junk may still contain sodium, potassium and a bunch of other stuff that can nourish the body for a short amount of time.

This idea got me thinking. Every week, I receive an email or two which I dump straight to the Junk/ Trash section.

If  “JUNK foods” are not entirely JUNK, could the same thing apply for e-mails?

Hence, the start of an experiment!

JUNK MAILS:  How do I use thee? Let me count the ways.

Language  Exercise

It has almost been a year since I attended my last french class.  I can say that mon française est tres…rusted. In learning any language, the key is to practice. Who would have thought these junk mails can serve as free materials!

Here is an example of an email I received.

Bonjour, Mr/Mme et Félicitation votre mail est chanceux

Votre adresse e-mail a été tirée au sort.

Vous venez de gagner la somme de £ 200.000 à notre tirage au sort 2012.vous
trouverez en pièce jointe la confirmation de votre gain à la national
loterie, veuillez prendre connaissance de ce message.

Ceci n’est pas un Spam ni un virus, ceci n’est pas une plaisanterie.

Veuillez trouver en fichier joint votre notification de gain.

Contactez d’urgence maître MIKE BLACKBURN charge de superviser la national
loterie:

Maître MIKE BLACKBURN
Pay: Royaume-Uni Londres

Ooh la la! Je suis riche!

But the tiny JUNK icon on my email reminds me that it is not so.  I would have to be content with the free practice. Good thing I’m a glass-half-full kind of gal =)

Aside from french, I also receive emails written in Russian. I don’t really read them since (1.) I can’t read Russian and (2.) the letters make me dizzy somehow. If I can’t recognize the language, I give it a quick detective work,  just for kicks.

5-minute drama fix

Every once in a while. we dream to escape our one problems and drama. We turn to books and movies to divert our thoughts.   And as I sit on my not-so comfy chair, I was mentally transported to Poland. My life as Dana Komo started and ended in 5 minutes :]

It all started when I clicked this message:

Dearest One,

With Due Respect And Humanity, I was compelled to write to you under a humanitarian ground.
My name is Dana komo. My nationality is Poland, I am married to Mr.Jean Claude komo director J.C Industries Cote d’Ivoire West Africa.We were married for 36 years without a child. He died after a Cadiac Arteries Operation.
And Recently, My Doctor told me that I would not last for the next six months due to my cancer problem (cancer of the lever and stroke).

Before my husband died last year there is this sum $2.8 Million Dollars that he deposited with one of the security Company here In Cote D’Ivoire West Africa. Presently this money is still in the Vault of the Company.
Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to any good God fearing brother or sister that will utilize this fund the way I am going to instruct herein.

I want somebody that will use this fund according to the desire of my late.husband to help Lessprivilaged people, orphanages,widows and propagating the word of God.
I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this fund, And I don’t want in away where this money will be used in an unGodly way.
This is why I am taking this decision to hand you over this Fund.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.I want you to always remember me in your daily prayers because of my up coming Cancer Surgery.
Write back as soon as possible any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another person for this same purpose, Hoping to read from you asap.
God bless you as you listing to the voice of reasoning. I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply .

Remain blessed in the Lord.
Your’s Sister In Christ, Madam Dana komo.

I’m not in the habit of making fun of other people’s suffering but knowing that this can very well be a fabrication of some scammer makes it laughable.

Meet new friends…OR NOT!

When work gets too stressful and everyone in the office are busy in their own little hell pigeon hole, a word from a friend is always a welcome diversion. But would this count?

Hey friend,

How are you? Guess you are fine and living good. Nice having your address with the aid of my new search device, my name is Franca and I’m from New York, USA. Here just looking for better friendship and pen pals both women and men to share interest and lot more with. I love discussing all issues and learning other people’s cultures and languages. Hope to get more good and lasting friends outside my state. Friends re like cloths, and life is naked without one.

About me in a brief, my name is Franca Brown; a native of Chicago Illinois, working with a recruitment and resettlement agency here in New York City. I think it’s enough for now till I hear from you. Now tell me about yourself and your country.

Plz excuse me if I erred by contacting you in this mail, you can forward my message to any of your preferred mailbox and reply via it for easier correspondence.

Xpecting to hear from you soonest, till then bye.

Your new friend,
Franca

Looks harmless, but the way it was written doesn’t sound like it was written by a Chicago native. In any case, I think I’ll just stick to my imaginary friend 😀

And more….

Apart from these examples, I also often get emails advertising all kinds of merchandise, from online courses to Viagra. I also get invitations to various conferences and seminars.  I just choose to ignore them most of the time. A boring afternoon prompted me to open them. Who knew some of them can be quite hilarious.  But seriously speaking though, most of them really looks and sound fishy.

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